Come and Talk to Me: A Recap

Whoa. What a night.

When we started planning Come and Talk to Me a few weeks ago, we didn’t know what to expect. We thought men would balk at the idea of just talking… and we were (happily) proven wrong. We learned quite a bit on Thursday night; things that ALL guys should take to heart – and ladies, you know we learned a few lessons too.

Take note: the guys who got up to speak? Quite a bit did their homework. For instance, one learned that Max’s favourite word was “fuck” and used it to his advantage. Another read posts from the various judges so he had something to say… but the key lesson learned:

You must marinate her mind…
You must marinate her mind…
You must marinate her mind…

That’s all I’m going to say about that. Whew.

This was from an ode to the female orgasm and well, as Max noted, our darling man obviously pays attention to a woman when she’s having an orgasm – you would do well to pay attention as well.

If you’re at a loss and don’t know what to say, research classic films for some classic lines… yes, my darling boys a little innuendo goes a really long way. One guy researched the train scene from North by Northwest and the line “I like your flavor…” had the women applauding. (Ahem…look it up)

Don’t ramble. Get to the point. There is a difference between taking the scenic route to the point (long flowing conversation) and rambling (because you’re lost). If you find yourself getting lost, take a breather, stop, start again.

Nervous? Don’t worry about it. Don’t apologize for it. Nervous shows you’re human…nervous shows you care. To paraphrase one of the other guys: why should you be nervous talking to a woman you find attractive?

Investigate and ask questions. Don’t instigate to get a debate going. While it does get a conversation rolling, you just come off as the guy who was a rabble-rouser.

Good looks WILL get you points…but those points will automatically be deducted if you say things like “when in doubt, whip it out” (yes, he actually said that).

Look us in the eye. Of all the men who spoke only 2 looked at the judges. We noticed. They noted it.

Spontaneity for the win. One guy came out just to see and was inspired enough that he got up to speak, get some advice and ended his time quoting Jeru…winning over all the judges (and a lot of votes).

Act on something because you want to…NOT because you expect something in return. Compliments, kind gestures, and other acts of what can be considered “chivalry” should be given freely. That being said… LADIES: Some of you really – I mean really – need to really appreciate chivalry. Embrace it and enjoy it.

Don’t afraid to be smart. Apparently you darling men want to be intellectually challenged and chased. Then show it…conversations that start with “hey” and doesn’t pick up from there? Tsk tsk tsk.

Poems and flowery speech? They work. Sometimes. Occasionally. On girls who like poems…

We like when you make us laugh. We DON’T like when you try to be a comedian.

Over all, the guys who did well did so because they were prepared. Not in the sense that they prepared a speech/poem/idea and recited it from memory… they were prepared because they used their knowledge and experience as the basis of their conversation. They added in some research, gave real life examples and said what was on their mind. It wasn’t a lyric, a line or a hook…it was him.

Yes. Say what’s on your mind…you’d be surprised how much we like honesty. Honesty is not rude…honesty is not cruel. Honesty is from the heart.

Speak your heart and hers will follow.

The Winner

Yes, he used the word “fuck”, yes, he had on Air Force One (and yes, he said he likes to fuck in them), and yes, he has very warm brown eyes which I got to see up close. But more than that…he got the room engaged, he spoke his mind and made us laugh. Before I even announced the winner, some of the GUYS who participated were cheering for him.

Darling Jimmy,

Tonight, you’ve made a room full of women smile, and even more importantly you’ve given them hope. When they left here tonight they left thinking, “yes…there are still some men out there who can talk to a woman”

Not flirt, not insult, not argue, but talk…they way only a grown man knows how…

Your intelligence and eloquence did more than just impress us.

It made us want you.

These are your bragging rights…in writing and approved by the powerful ladies that be.

Let it be known that on June 23, 2011… you were declared TORONTO’S MOST CUNNING LINGUIST
Congratulations to Jimmy “Jimmy Smalls” Soares, who is Toronto’s Most Cunning Linguist!

XOXO/HLBB

Special thanks again to:

Skye Blue, The Man Sam Sharpe and Elizabeth Rose of Metanotherfrog.com…

Lily, Ms. Savannah Goldlust of Erotica By Savannah…

Max, of the one and only max-logic.com…

Jeff and the team Tequila Bookworm for their hospitality…

The team at Good For Her for the bag of goodies for our ladies in the audience

BlogTO for putting us on their culture radar…

The Grid for coming to observe…

and most of all…

To the men who were brave enough to come out and talk to us.

p.s.

Due to demand, yes…there will be another “Come and Talk to Me” next year. In the meantime stay tuned as we plan more fun for you all this summer.

Come and Talk to Me – June 23 – Conversation Starters…

Tomorrow!!!

Okay darling boys…tomorrow night is the night.

I’m going to throw out a few conversation starters…use ‘em if you want. I’m still going to hold out hope that one of you will do the train scene from North by Northwest…Here’s the cool part: each of these starters are based on topics from a few of my favourite blogs…

(ahem, those would be from the blogs written by your judges)

MetAnotherFrog.com – Posts by Skye 

Delayed Gratification

Taking a Stand 

Women Like Porn Too

Erotica by Savannah

Morning Sex

Masturbation

Backshots

Max-Logic

The Hottest Thing a Man Can Say

Bad Bedroom Moves For Men

The Comfort Zone

See you tomorrow…

xoxo/hlbb

Come and Talk to Me – UPDATES

Hello darling boys…

Talk to me.

You know when it’s really good? It’s those times when you lean in close and whisper something to me. Not in my ear, but just behind it…at the nape of my neck. It could be anything: an inside joke shared between the two of us, a dirty thought or even – dare I say it? Those three words with eight letters and one meaning…

(waits for some of you to figure that out…)

It’s not just what you say darling boys…it’s how you say it. We don’t want love letters; but sometimes a text just isn’t enough. When we want a conversation, “hey what’s up?” really isn’t the starter we’re looking for. We know you want us…we want you to find the words that will keep us.

(and no, “conversate” isn’t one of them. It’s not even a damn word)

It’s why we created this night. We want you to come and talk to us…

Make us laugh…

Make us think…

Make us want to do the things we wouldn’t normally want to do…

This is our search to find the most cunning linguist in the city (because we know you’re out there), so you will be evaluated by a panel of word loving judges and voted on by the women of the audience.

Bragging rights? Sure. But there will also be prizes.

A reminder… a few simple rules:

Sign up (email talktome@herlilblackbook.com)

Show up at Tequila Bookworm (512 Queen Street West) on June 23, 2011

Show up at 8:30

Get up on stage and…

Talk to us. By doing this, you assure women that the art of conversation is not lost. That you, darling boys can engage a woman for about 5 minutes. That’s all.

(Oh yeah, I only have about 4 – maybe?  – spots available, so email me to register asap)

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say.

Ladies, we haven’t forgotten you either. Not only are we inviting you to search with us to find this cunning linguist, but Good for Her will be providing door prizes… just in case the right words, well, y’know.

The Details

Come and Talk to Me – June 23, 2011

8:30 PM – Tequila Bookworm (Upper Level)

FREE

The Judges

Skye (MetAnotherFrog.com)

Mizz Love Lippz (EroticaBySavannah.com)

Max (Max-Logic.com)

Come and Talk to Me – Meet the Judges

I thought I’d introduce you to the panel now rather than surprise you on the night of…and I’m also giving you an assist, because now you can study their work, get inside their heads a little and effectively charm (seduce) the night of the event.

Skye Blue

She’s one of my favourite dirty girls in the blogsphere. She will tell you exactly what she’s thinking and will tell you at a speed just a little bit faster than light. She’ll read between your lines and never, ever think to pause before answering one of her questions – she’ll read between your lines and tell you what you weren’t telling her.

How to seduce Skye? Don’t break eye contact. Win her over with your smile. Come with something unexpected. Make sure you use all the dirty words…

Mizz Love Lippz

She loves love…but she also knows the beauty of a really. Good. Fuck. Have you read her scenarios? This woman makes me like the name Michael. Mizz L is a fantastic flirt from the old school of flirting and has a seriously sexy pair of eyes that actually glint when she’s thinking something dirty. I swear. I’ve seen it.

How to seduce Mizz L? Set her imagination off. Get her thinking about what she would want to do with your words…

Maxfab

This is Max’s world boys, you’re just living in it. She writes the things I think but I’m still to chicken to say. Max’s perspective is unique because it’s honest and hilarious at the same time. On any given day she will school you on hip hop and the next,  signature sex moves

What’s not to love? Oh yeah, she has half the brothas in the continental U.S. in lust with her (just read the comments on her posts).

How to seduce Max? You better know how to use your words. The woman is about the closet thing you can get to a walking dictionary. If you even think of dropping in a word out of context, she will ask you for the definition and the correct spelling on the spot.

Okay, so there you have it…if you haven’t registered yet, hit me up at talktome@herlilblackbook.com.

Did you hear? The team over at metanotherfrog.com are taking this show on the road! Come and Talk to Me will also be held in London on July 28th, sponsored by  Sh! Women’s Store .

Can’t wait to hear what you have in store…