An offer for my darling boys and girls… Online. Dating. These two words strike fear in my heart the way “we need to talk” strikes fear in the hearts of men. I once heard dates described as a job interview … Continue reading
(note: there’s a lot going on behind the scenes, so this is a longer than usual post to make up for my absence…) sentinel |ˈsentn-əl| noun a soldier or guard whose job is to stand and keep watch. • figurative … Continue reading
I love a cunning linguist…
So we decided to invite the most cunning of you linguists to come out and talk to us. You can talk clean, you can talk dirty, you can talk about your day at work.
But you must talk to us.
The rules are simple:
Sign up (email firstname.lastname@example.org)
Show up at Tequila Bookworm (512 Queen Street West) on June 23, 2011
Show up at 8:30
Get up on stage and…
Talk to us. By doing this, you assure women that the art of conversation is not lost. That you, darling boys can engage a woman for about 5 minutes. That’s all. You’d be surprised…it’s harder than it seems. We (Skye, Lippz and myself) will provide feedback; the ladies of the audience will cast votes. We will then crown the most cunning of all of you linguists and extol the virtues of your silver tongue.
(yes, you automatically score 10 points if you do it shirtless… I will personally give bonus points to a man who reads a scene from North by Northwest)
Can’t wait to hear what you have to say…
(yes, I wanted to see how many times I could use the phrase “cunning linguist” – there, I did it again)
I’ve advised you darling boys on what to say when you break up with a girl…but I left out something that I realize is not second nature to a lot of you…
Have you seen Up in the Air with George Clooney? He plays a guy who fires people for a living. Without fail, he goes through a series of steps to ensure that the person has been properly “transitioned” out of their jobs and on with their lives.
I’ve had a couple of conversations recently that made me realize that when you guys are breaking up with girlfriends/FWBs/randoms, that y’all are missing a few steps.
I talk to you and you say “we’re through” but then I find out that she’s not done…and that it goes beyond just calling or emailing you non-stop (the things you ignore post breakup). I’m finding out that y’all still get hit up via BBM…that she’s stalking you via social media…and my favourite: you still have some of her shit (or vice versa)!
You’re leaving all these loose ends and…sigh. Let’s put it this way: if this was a person you had fired and you had left this many loose ends…you’d have a wrongful dismissal suit on your hands.
So darlings, in order to effectively “transition” a girl out of your life, I’ve made a handy checklist that you can use (over and over again).
Before you even protest or joke about it, let’s be honest – once March Madness is over, a bunch of you will be “transitioning” the Winter Wifey… uh huh.
(Yeah. You’re welcome.)