Category Archives: man of your dreams

Why Women Want to Fuck Don Draper…

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Long story short…I just started watching Mad Men, and while Don Draper is not a man I’d want to take to my bed, I’m beginning to see why women would.  Women also want to have sex with such men of fiction as John James Preston (aka “Mr. Big” of Sex and the City), Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl), Hank Moody (Californication) and my personal favourite, Ari Gold (Entourage).

Why?

They’re peacocks

(Chuck Bass…the guy you’d make a sex video with because you know the lighting will be perfect…)

To get attention, the male peacock will open his tail wide into a splendid fan and do a complex dance… it is believed that the female peacock chooses the mate with the most impressive tail (source).

This is how it works with females of the human variety.

From the pocket square to the overcoats…Chuck’s style is distinct and personal. Please note that I said style. Style is very personal…it doesn’t mean dressing like Chuck Bass…it does mean that you have to rock a look that is yours and is truly worn like a second skin. That sense of comfort shows in your body language and we respond to that. If sweatpants and Jordans are your thing, believe me honey there are lots of women who will pull on your drawstrings.

Dressing well and good grooming doesn’t cost a lot of money either. Go through your closet and try on lots of shit, throw out what doesn’t work and then go shopping. By the way: a true peacock actually enjoys shopping…they don’t brag about it…they don’t talk about how much it costs, where they got it from, and when they’re wearing it, they aren’t fishing for compliments…they’re wearing it because it feels right.

They wear their hearts (and dicks) on their sleeves…

(Hank Moody…the guy who goes down on a woman for an hour because he gets off on it…)

One of my trusted boys kinda reminds me of Hank Moody, and I think they get laid on the regular for the same fundamental reason: they adore women.

Yes I know honey, you adore women too. No. These guys ADORE women. They like how we dress, how we wear our hair, that we’re smart, that we’re mouthy, that we swear, that we sweat, that we get angry… AND, when they see one they want to bed, they don’t get sexual about it…they light up in delight.

These guys adore being in the company of women; their life entourage (close friend, sibling, work partner etc) is usually made up of females. Basically, if she smells good, he tells her, if she looks good, he tells her, if he wants to have sex with her…he tells her.

The age of political correctness has ruined it for you I know. How do you tell a woman she looks good or smells good without getting hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit? Leave out the innuendo. If you’re going to tell a woman that she smells good, do so because you want to tell her she smells good, not because you want to have sex with her.

If you don’t get the difference…email me and I’ll explain it in more detail.

They know their strengths and weaknesses

(Ari Gold…the kind of guy who has crazy sex…with his wife and no one else. )

Ari Gold is a bastard. Ari Gold knows he’s a bastard. Mrs. Ari knows her husband is a bastard. If you said the shit that sometimes comes out of his mouth, you would be considered a misogynistic bastard.

You cannot turn into Ari Gold overnight by getting a second cellphone and swearing like a motherfucking badass. In fact, if you aren’t already a motherfucking badass you shouldn’t even bother to attempt it.

One of Ari’s strengths is that he’s a master negotiator. He never starts to bargain without knowing what he wants and what he’ll give up for it. His weaknesses? Well that would be just about everything else. Yet Mrs. Ari stayed with him for many years…why? Because when he negotiated marriage, he put his weaknesses on the table; she knew what she was getting.

Find your strengths and play those up and admit your weaknesses…don’t hide them. Will it make you more endearing? Not really especially if you aren’t willing to work on them. It will make you more honest and honesty is a strength.

They know how to do it…big

(Mr. Big…the kind of man who will make love to you on a bed of rose petals…)

He showed up (late) for her birthday with a bouquet of balloons. He bought her a ticket to come see him in California (when he ducked out on her in NYC in the middle of the night). He flew across the Atlantic to get her back (after losing her to a more attentive man).

Yup. Go figure, this is why women love Big…because as much as he fucks up on the little things, the big gestures are really big. Find out what she loves and have that ready in case you fuck up.

They are the Alpha Male

(Don Draper…the kind of guy who will ride you hard and put you back wet…)

Don Draper has a serious drinking problem, cheats on his wife, and has a seriously shady past. From what I’ve seen so far, men want to be Don and women want to fuck him. He’s the undisputed leader…even when he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he does it in such a way that you have no choice but to be impressed by it.

But Don walks around like the kind of man who would throw a woman up against the wall and fuck her without getting a single hair of his out of place. Yeah, that’s his appeal: if he wants it, he’ll grab you in an embrace and take you…in a car…a bathroom stall…his office…

BUT he has to be in control. In all the episodes I’ve seen, he’s refused sex only once from a girl who was coming on to him. If the sex is not his idea, then he’s not having it. Don appeals the throwback tendencies of women; we know we’ll still get girl on top – but that’s because he put us there.

So which one of these guys are you? Uh… none. They’re fictional, they’re prototypes. You, my darling boys can most definitely adopt one or two of the character traits of any of the above men, but really you should work on defining you and your sexual profile…

(Yes, this was about sex…)

The 12 Women You Meet In Life: The Sidepiece

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The other woman, the sidepiece, the mistress…whatever you call her, she’s basically the woman who you’re fucking, even though you have committed to another woman, your beloved.

Generally the question has been why do men get involved with these types of women? I’d like to ask you all today: why did you get involved with this woman? I have this 80/20 theory…that a person commits to another who fulfills 80% of their wants; the sidepiece usually just embodies 20%. For those of you who have cheated, I want to know: was she worth the 20?

Before you met her, think about it: she wasn’t a mistress…she was a woman. Who met you and liked you. Really liked you. Displayed an interest in you. Finds you attractive…instead of bugging you about not going out anymore or the shabby way you now dress. She’s sexy, she’s funny and she wants you.

In those first few weeks, you debate telling her that there’s someone else and you don’t have to. I mean, it’s not unusual these days to have just a mobile number, so she doesn’t question you not having a landline, you don’t push for sex at your place and she can respect you for it (she thinks you’re being respectful, not careful). You answer her calls, her texts and her BBM messages, you pay attention to her because you love the rush of this girl being into you…it’s just like when you…

First met your beloved.

For some of you, the guilt is too much, so the next time she asks you if there’s someone else, you pause, you think about your beloved. You think about your commitment. You think “is it worth it?” Then you say:

Yeah…but…”

That my lovelies, is when that girl becomes THAT WOMAN.

But what? You leave that sentence hanging and that’s what happens. It’s a blank and she fills it with hope, expectations, and desires. She was single, she was looking, and that word, that “but” is a sign of something bigger.

What did the “but” mean?

“Yeah, but we’re not in a good place right now…”?

“Yeah, but it’s a little complicated…”?

“Yeah, but you’re different…”?

See darlings, these are the different “yeah, but’s” I’ve heard from the girls who became THOSE WOMEN. No one starts out in life thinking that they only deserve to be second best. But life, circumstances, a bad relationship or two and boom, a girl starts thinking half a man is better than none. Besides, it’s those first few weeks, do you realize how attentive and sweet and funny and charming you are? Pretty hard to resist y’know…I mean that’s how you got your beloved.

Then there’s the way you put it on her…damn. The sex is fucking hawt. You’re doing things with her you haven’t done in a while – or ever. You go home to your beloved and want to relieve the experience with her (which is usually the first clue for your beloved, a change in habits), you find yourself getting hard at work, remembering the last time she did that one move with her tongue – or was it your beloved who did it? (Confusing, isn’t it?)

You see, now that she knows there’s a beloved, she views the beloved as the “other”, not her. So she wants to win you over, because you see you may be in a relationship, but…

Your beloved. She’s getting to be really bitchy lately. Picking on everything you do. Asking you questions. Asking you more questions. Nagging your ass. But HER, she accepts you as is. No questions. She understands that she gets to see you on February 13th and not the 14th. She understands when you can’t spend the night because the time you two spend together is about quality, not quantity. She’s a reprieve, an escape…she’s the 20% you’re not getting at home. She thinks that this is the grand passion you’ve both been missing from your lives. She’s not like one of Tiger’s Lucky 13…she’s more like Alicia Keys. (yeah, I went there). At least that’s what she’s thinking. Because yeah, you’re in a relationship, but…

Then one day, you think: she’s only 20% of what I want. I have what I want, right? My beloved still wants me, right? I just want to test her loyalty… So you leave clues…get sloppy. Get caught. She goes off and you promise to end it. Or she leaves you. Or you decide to end it before other of those things happen.

No matter what way you slice it, you realize that you don’t want to be stuck with HER. She’s only good for a lay, for good times…she’s not what a relationship makes. So you end it. She freaks, blasts you for leading her on and you say:

“BUT you knew I was in a relationship!”

You went from “being in a relationship, but…” to “but you knew I was in a relationship!” It’s funny how the meaning of a relationship can change just by moving one word around. So now she’s bitter, crazy. She’s calling and calling and texting, posting shit on your wall, sending BBMs at all hours and you’re avoiding all of it. It’s not like it was serious, what’s she freaking out for? She threatens to contact the beloved…tell her everything. You’re thinking “she used to be so cool…but…”

“Now she’s sweating me…”

“She won’t stop calling…”

“Now she’s just crazy…”

But now. She’s just a mistress.

he said / she said: the “nice guy curse”

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The first post of its kind on HLBB!! A true “he said/she said” observation on a topic. Please welcome to the HLBB realm Mr. J. Pearson, a member of Live a Good Life – a lifestyle blog here in Toronto.

For this first “he said /she said” post we’re discussing the “nice guy curse”… J’s points start us off, and my rebuttals are the italicized text in brackets…check it out, have your say in the comments section and let’s start a dialogue. Ready? Set…GO:

he said:

Some of us have heard the saying before “Nice guys finish last”. Speaking as a former nice guy, I can tell you that nice guys do not always finish “last”. To fully speak on the nice guy phenomena, I would have to submerge my mind into all the situations in which it can occur, for the sake of this article I will mainly speak about one.

(Alrighty, let’s go…)

The nice guy isn’t hard to spot in a crowd; he is often described as “such a good friend” or “so easy to talk to”, but on the inside he yearns for something more. The truth about him is that he wants to be anything but. He seems to find himself being stuck in the dreaded “friend zone”. If you’ve never heard of this term, I will explain it to you: The friend zone is a dangerous place for a guy, especially if he likes the person that has banished him into that realm. What happens is that the female no longer looks at him as an option, but often turns to him when her other boyfriends treat her wrong.

(Women have the friend zone just as much as men do. Except men call it the “she’s not my first choice to fuck, but she’s cool to hang with so maybe one day I’ll try it” zone. Not everyone is going to have chemistry with each other, and should you as a guy stick around if she’s not feeling you? If you keep stepping up, hoping that she’ll see you’re “the one” after one of those breakups, should you not take responsibility for yourself and your feelings and move on?)

In other words you become her crutch. Slowly but surely this becomes redundant until Mr. Nice Guy builds up the courage to tell the girl how he really feels. The response is almost universal: “I do love you, but as a friend…” Girls might not know this, but those words are the equivalent to being kicked in the testicles.

(There is something to be said about the benefits of having a female friend, but this isn’t one of those situations. HOW did you become her crutch? Trust us, we KNOW the words “I love you like a friend” are like a kick to the balls, it’s equivalent to the feeling we get when we flirt with you, you sense it, and then turn around and ask our girl out on date. Again I ask, HOW did YOU let yourself get in this position? Nine times out of ten, we DO want your friendship, you do have all the qualities that we adore and appreciate – and dare I say it, look for – in a man, BUT we don’t want to fuck you. Ever have a girl in your life like that? HOW do you know she doesn’t feel that way about you? A.k.a the curse of the “Nice Girl”)

Irony tends to kick in after a while, usually after a female has been through about ten bad relationships; the “bad boy” image becomes jaded. This is when she smartens up and starts to search for a nice guy. The problem is the same guys she turned down years ago have now moved on to bigger and better things. Again the response to this is universal “Where did all the nice guys go?”

(Define NICE. See, when I hear that word to describe a guy, he’s usually the wimp. I’m an Alpha type female [in case you haven’t noticed] and “nice” guys are a turn off for me [and a few other women I know]. Call it a case of “throwback-itis”, but there are very few women who want a man they can “run”. We don’t purposely search for badasses, but we often mistake that badassness for DSS. When we realize that he doesn’t possess swagger and he’s just an asshole, that’s when it ends, and we whine about the lack of nice guys. When we say “nice”, it doesn’t necessarily mean “does whatever I ask and puts me on a pedestal”, it means “treats me with respect, kindness, but can display to me that he is his own man”. Imagine if you will, a female friend – the kind you don’t want to fuck – cooking your meals, helping to solve your problems, and hell, she even gives you a good lineup every two weeks and always tell you how good your look. WHY would you want to get rid of someone like that? Well, it’s really no different than you being her “fill in” date to a wedding, putting up her shelves or, even you picking her up from a day of shopping to go and have coffee with, while she tells you about ANOTHER bad date. Look, you want to impress her? Develop yourself outside of her shadow…’cause that’s all she’s seeing you in.)

Here is the answer to that question; the nice guys were the ones you ignored or turned down during high school (present day). The reality is most (of us) have grown up and now understand how the game works.

(This isn’t a game…we just don’t want to fuck you.)

Let me make something clear though, don’t get ahead of yourself nice guys, I am not suggesting you be a nice guy all the time.

(I read this as: let your balls drop yo, man up every once in a while)

Think about it: being a nice guy in the professional world doesn’t get you anywhere, neither does being the nice guy in a relationship. To be frank, being the nice guy is not a healthy lifestyle at all. This is why I’ve evolved into being the “smart guy” A smart guy knows which girls are worth being nice to and those who are worth the one night stand treatment. A smart guy can tell the difference between a woman he just wants to have sex with and a woman he wants to marry. A smart guy still has friends who are girls but does not get too involved in their love life. A smart guy is the halfway point between that bad boy image girls seem to be drawn to and the nice guy image that they look for down the road of life.

(I want to know why a nice guy can’t differentiate between the woman he wants to marry and the woman he wants to fuck. Why is this only the smart guy? Women aren’t drawn to bad boys, we are drawn to CONFIDENCE. Nice guys lack a certain level of confidence, the “smart guy” in this story is one that has developed a backbone and stands on his own merits, rather than standing on a pile of nice things he did for women in hopes of getting some pussy…)

(Ladies, I’m going to leave him the last word…but please weigh in…)

So women, next time you find yourself wondering where all the nice guys have gone, think about how many male friends you’ve had confess their feelings for you, only to be condemned to the friend zone? The number you come up with will represent only a small fraction of the nice guys that may or may not exist.